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Gosh.. it’s been so busy every since summer started. With the events going on in my church, I always have to wake up at 4:30 AM! It’s been hectic, but I also like it. It feels like I’m not wasting any time. Like I said, I want to live everyday to the fullest. Except today, it’s my day off! I will have absolutely nothing to do and my friend is coming over so we can hang out like old times. AHHHHH, the memories…

I’ve also got my favorite drama to watch and some movies I want to see! Today’s just going to be a relaxing day from everything, and then back to my busy day tomorrow!

I just got news saying that my senior picture is on July 13th! So SOON!!!! I still can’t believe I’m a senior now…man time sure flies by quickly. Anyway, I want to lose some face fat before then…hmmm i wonder if I can do that. Whatever… whatever happens, happens. It’s all in God’s hands.

I should update my blog daily, but I become so tired by the end of the day T_____T

Anyway… I can surely say that my summer is going off on a great start!

Hmmmm… today was very interesting. How should I put it, I went through many emotions today, that’s for sure. There was anger, happiness, sadness, crying, being bored, being depressed, phew…

It could’ve been a good first day, but something just happened not too long ago that just made me so angry and depressed. My mom just decides to come home today and just bash on me. She goes on and on about how I’m so fat and obese for my age. Like, what the heck. I’m not even over 130 lbs. and I’m pretty tall for my age, and friends tell my I’m skinny. 

And I’ve been stressing in school trying to get my GPA good enough for her satisfaction, and I really don’t need her giving me stress, okay? I’ve been focusing in school and my grades so I honestly didn’t have time to care about my weight or how I look. So I told her, that since i’s summer that I’m going to now focus on my looks, but I didn’t even listen to her response because I just charged up to my room in tears. She honestly doesn’t know what I go through in school, she doesn’t understand how stressful Junior year can be, so I DON’T NEED HER GIVING ME CRAP.

I WILL SHOW HER. I will get fit over the summer, so I don’t need to listen to her yapping away about how fat I look. She says she’s saying those criticisms because she cares, and I totally understand that, I truly do. But there’s a limit to which one can take. If you keep on telling mat I am fat and ugly EVERY SINGLE DAY, that can get to you.

Not only does she say those mean things, but she also restricts me of what I want to eat. She treats me like I’m over 300 lbs! (no offense to those that are). If I try to have a bit more of the servings she’s like, “You’re already so fat, do you honestly think you want to eat more?”

Mom, I understand that you are trying to look out for me, but please, enough already. 

I can’t believe it….

ASDKLJGARTKNCV SCHOOL IS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

All the stressing and crying and crap is done, and JUNIOR YEAR IS DONE!!!!!!! YESHHHHHH!!!

I’m a senior now, wow…. this is unbelievable… 

Now, let the summer begin.. (:

I really want to change. People say change can be a good thing, well, I approve. 

Every girl wants to look pretty, wants to feel pretty…right? I thought, since next year will be my senior year, why not make it the best year ever? I want to try putting on some make up, get rid of glasses, wear some decent clothes, lose some weight and feel good about myself. 

The past three years I’ve been studying and not caring about looks, so I want to try next year. So, over the  summer, I’m going to try to change. I just want to try, that’s all.